Mom...so funny

Three hilarious memories stand out:

It was April Fool's day and I couldn't tell you the year, but we lived in Timberlane, lower section. Mom knew how much we loved Jell-o and this time when she made it, when placing our desert dishes in front of us she told us there was a marshmallow at the bottom! Myself and my two older sibs took our time to reach the drool-causing marshmallow while my one brother all but hoovered his Jell-o to reach the puffy deliciousness. When he reached his desired treat and started chewing on it, his eyes bulged out of his thick lens glasses and he spit it out with such force it literally stuck to the outside of his bowl. Mom, dear mom, put a friggin large cotton ball in our Hell-o! The humor of it was not seen until years later...

(Still living in Timberlane) I was super sick one Thanksgiving season to the point of having to spend a few days at my grandparents in order to not get my siblings sick. I was brought home on Thanksgiving Day and mom had prepared a great turkey meal. Grampa sat at the head of the table like it was his house, carved the bird and doled out the slices to us all. After the dinner dishes were cleared, mom was about to set desert when she told her father he just had to try this new, incredibly delicious pepper! She put the jar in front of him and he forked a few, then popped them into his mouth. He began chewing and it hit him...he had just released the ferocious heat of two whole jalapeno peppers and the attack was fun for us to watch! Tears began to well up in his eyes; then his face contorted; mouth gaping, gasping and arms waiving as if he was trying to put out a real fire. He began screaming for water, which for us was about the funniest thing we'd ever seen. Mom knew the water would do nothing for him but gave him a big ol' glass of it anyway and we continued to laugh our collective asses off. Needless to say, grampa did not find the humor in what he'd just experienced...tough shit!

Flash forward to my eighth grade year and once again it is April Fool's Day. I'd always gotten moms first cup of coffee ready for her and on this day, I was going to make it extra special. I'd brewed the coffee so it would be ready when she woke up. When she did, I'd told her I'd be right there with her mug of get-up juice. Know how over time you build up a great collection of spices? Yeah, I put a crazy concoction in that cup of coffee, sniffed it to make sure there was no odor and took it into moms room for her to enjoy. I'd safely gotten back to the kitchen when I'd heard "SON OF A BITCH! LIZABETH, YOU BETTER HOPE YOU CAN RUN FASTER THAN ME!!"

April Fool's paybacks are a real bitch, ain't they?